You’ve heard the story of the wolf in sheep’s clothing… but have you heard the story of the adult-contemporary balladeer with lion hair in wolf’s clothing?
Well, that’s the story that unfolded in the masked singer‘s DC Superheroes Night on Wednesday, when Wolf was revealed to be none other than two-time Grammy winner Michael Bolton.
In recent years, this singer of “How am I supposed to live without you?” has attracted a whole new television audience, whether as a co-host Celebrity Dating Gamerepresenting Connecticut on NBC american song contestcompeting in dancing with the starsor, most notably, donning another fantasy figure costume (as well as Erin Brockovich’s drag!) in Lonely Island’s snl Digital short film “Jack Sparrow”. In fact, Bolton once told Yahoo Entertainment that his latest career-boosting viral appearance was one of his “greatest, most enjoyable experiences” and “one of the best things I’ve ever done.”
I guess dressing up as a sparrow or a pirate would have been too obvious for Bolton this week. And it remains to be seen just how high to get the furry lupine finery in the masked singer will be on your list of outstanding professionals. But she did seem to have a good time sinking her teeth into her raspy rendition of the Doors’ “Break on Through,” which had the two music experts on the judging panel, pop singers Robin Thicke and Nicole Scherzinger, immediately acknowledging her ” velvety”. ”, “sexy”, “iconic” and “unique voices”. (Side note: I would have preferred Wolf doing Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf,” X’s “Hungry Wolf,” Shakira’s “She Wolf,” or even TV on the Radio’s “Wolf Like Me,” but hey, I’m just I. .)
“I could get used to being the Wolf,” Bolton admitted.
“It’s always an honor to hear you sing,” Nicole gushed after Michael removed his mask. “Nobody does it like you do, and yet you do it with such effortless grace.”
As for the other two contestants from Group B who performed at DC Superheroes Night, we learned that not all of the heroes wear capes, but some of them wear Gargoyle and Squirrel cosplay. It was pretty close between these two, the latter doing Charlie Puth’s “One Call Away” and the other doing Pink’s “Try”, followed by a Battle Royale of “Kryptonite” from 3 Doors Down, so when Squirrel finally bested the competition, the judges decided to use their “Ding Dong Keep It on Bell” to save Gargoyle from elimination.
The judges already used the bell last week to rescue Medusa (who is probably Bishop Briggs, possibly Fergie), which means they can only use it one more time this season, so I think this decision may have been premature. But what’s done is done, and now Gargoyle will have the chance to fight his way back into the competition against Medusa (and a third saved by contestant Ding-Dong-Bell) later in Season 9.
The judges seemed convinced that Gargoyle was an LA athlete like Antonio Gates or Odell Beckham Jr., except for Ken Jeong, who always made guessing errors, and thought he was The Weeknd’s “record-maker.” (Yes, the high-pitched voice of the Gargoyle did Sounds a bit like that of Abel Tesfaye, who has set multiple Spotify and chart records, and yes, there are was a mention of “blinding lights”… but I think Abel is too busy touring the world and trying to quell the bad press to The idol do the masked singer.) I myself am a little taken aback by the Gargoyle. But as far as the squirrel is concerned, to quote Ken, I know exactly who it isAnd I mean it: It’s actress and self-described “girl next door who’s also funny” and “bombshell”, Malin Akerman.
A few quick searches on Google and Wikipedia had all of Squirrel’s clues lining up. The rock rodent said she was once a figure skater girl, and here’s a #TBT from 1987 of a mini-Malin in a spandex leotard and rinkside. Like the Squirrel, Malin once wanted to be a child psychologist. The Squirrel also mentioned “modeling for a major agency” and starring in a “teenage acne commercial”, and Malin was discovered by Ford Models at age 16, leading to a contract with Noxzema. Visual clues such as a yellow smiley face button, a castle, and a gorilla, respectively, pointed to Malin’s work in happy thank you more please, Harold and Kumar go to the white castleand love monkeywhile another track, “hero time”, was a clear reference to his role in the superhero movie the watchers. A plate of Swedish meatballs was a nod to Malin’s birthplace of Stockholm. And lastly, the squirrel confessed that she once “made out with Tom Cruise,” which Malin’s nerdy journalist character Constance Sack had to do with Cruise’s heartthrob Stacee Jaxx. Rock of Ages.
and if everything that It’s not enough to convince you, Malin can really sing, she used to front the alt-rock band The Petalstones, and her portrayal of Pink definitely had a girl-rocker vibe.
So, can the Squirrel battle his way through the next two weeks and reach the semifinals against reigning champions of the Group A fivesome, the California Roll (which is likely to be Pentatonix)? We’ll find out soon… but all I know is that next Wednesday is Sesame Street Night, so the Squirrel or one of the two new B-group celebrities next week better be covering Oscar the Grouch’s “I Love Trash” or Cookie Monster’s “Cookie Disco.” Until then.
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